[Private] Jounal Entry: Kurt Wagner (Backdated 1/19/2013)

[om_nightcrawler]

I have been thinking about Blaine a lot.

Almost all the time.

I have been thinking about how I could not stop thinking about that kiss under the mistletoe. Or the kisses on New Year’s Years. I kissed him a second time even though we had already had a New Year’s kiss. At the time, I did not think anything of it. It just...seemed like the thing to do. But, I kissed him again because I liked it.

Then, there is the party. I want it to go well so badly, I want to make Blaine happy. I would want to make any of my friends happy, but this is just...different somehow. Or, when he was gone on vacation. The school felt empty without him around. I missed him so much. I missed all of my friends, but again, with him, it was different somehow.

Blaine is my best friend, but I have never felt this, I do not know, close, I guess, to a best friend before. Never even felt this way about a best friend before. I keep thinking about his smile, the way his head fits against my shoulder, and how he holds my hand. I keep thinking about how kind and smart and funny he is. I cannot stop thinking about him.

I... I like him. I like him a lot.

I have a crush on Blaine.

Gott, I need to talk to my sister.