Texts to Shaun (Backdated to this morning)

[om_backlash]

7:10 AM: So, you missed a party.

7:10 AM: And by party I mean the most awkward thing I have ever witnessed.

7:10 AM: And, Shaun, I have witnessed *a lot* of awkward things, I'm a teenager.

[open journal entry] SIMON BELLAMY IS A SEX GOD

[om_revenant]

Because my sincerity may have been called into question now and again over the years, I'm sharing my entirely romantic feelings for Simon Bellamy in a very public place.

I NATHAN YOUNG LOVE HIM AND EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW IT

If you hear his name being screamed from the rooftops in a highly passionate, possibly ejaculative way, that would be me.

He's a bit shy, I know it, you know it, his favourite stalking bushes know it. But allow me to show you the Simon I know - as the pure, unadulterated sex god he is. Ladies, put a dish sponge in your panties before viewing, because it's about to get wet and wild down there. Fellahs, start your envy engines now.

( SIMON BELLAMY IS A SEX GOD )

I REGRET NOTHING SIMON

YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BEAST

I LOVE YOU AND I'LL PROVE IT

[[This entry has been deleted]]

Email to Simon and Shaun

[om_backlash]

To: Bellamy, Simon
CC: Mason, Shaun
From: Jensen, Jake
Subject: I really don't know what to write here

Hey dude,

So, suffice to say that the post your roommate put up is creepy on levels I didn't even know existed. You want to spend the night in our dorm? We don't mind.