[open journal entry] SIMON BELLAMY IS A SEX GOD

[om_revenant]

Because my sincerity may have been called into question now and again over the years, I'm sharing my entirely romantic feelings for Simon Bellamy in a very public place.

I NATHAN YOUNG LOVE HIM AND EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW IT

If you hear his name being screamed from the rooftops in a highly passionate, possibly ejaculative way, that would be me.

He's a bit shy, I know it, you know it, his favourite stalking bushes know it. But allow me to show you the Simon I know - as the pure, unadulterated sex god he is. Ladies, put a dish sponge in your panties before viewing, because it's about to get wet and wild down there. Fellahs, start your envy engines now.

Because really, how can you say no to this?



Or... Oh, take me now



You want more, do you? All right, I'm a generous man, and you've got to be mid-pet about now. But I'm keeping the rest of the smut for myself, you perverts.



MINE I SAW HIM FIRST YOU BLOODY ANIMALS

...But you know what, I don't want to give the wrong impression, here. It's not all about the raw, charismatic sex appeal oozing out of those milky pale pores for me. Oh no. I bet none of you lot ever saw him really smile, did you?



Now try and tell me how you could look at that and not melt all over? You know what? I make him smile, hand to God, and there's nothing that does me in better.

I REGRET NOTHING SIMON

YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BEAST

I LOVE YOU AND I'LL PROVE IT

[[This entry has been deleted]]

Comments

[om_quicksilver]

[om_backlash]

I second that nomination.

Motion to approve?

[om_revenant]

OUR LOVE WILL NOT BE STIFLED BY HATERS

No matter HOW entertaining their choice of internet memes!

[om_quicksilver]

I think we can count his own response as a motion to approve.

The motion carries.

[om_anthem]

Nathan, this is really mean.

[om_revenant]

Mean? Where's your sense of romance?!

[om_anthem]

Okay, Nathan, look. Let's say you were actually in love with him. I was there in the gym this morning, and you were making Simon really uncomfortable, to put it lightly. He obviously doesn't like you going on about this. When you love someone, you think about their feelings, not just what you want. Writing a (frankly, creepy) post doesn't prove your love, it just proves you want to say what you want and don't care about how Simon feels about it.

And if this is a joke, it is extremely cruel, and the whole predatory gay thing is not funny.

Pietro will be your bad cop, Blaine <3

[om_quicksilver]

In re Blaine's last sentence (esp that second half):

Re: Pietro will be your bad cop, Blaine <3

[om_revenant]

Didn't you convince yourself that you'd won some imagined flame war on the internet instead of doing anything productive or useful in your life in that thread above? No?

I find this whole defense of Simon thing very dear, really I do. I've even done it myself, once or twice! But I'm not joking, and maybe, just maybe, he's capable of making his OWN mind up about all of this?

he refuses to dignify this with an actual response tho

[om_quicksilver]

[om_revenant]

NOPE! :D BUT THANKS FOR PLAYING! BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME

[om_revenant]

So let's say the gym didn't go exactly as I'd imagined myself confessing my feelings

And that it just sort of came out accidentally.

Also, much as I obviously adore Simon, everything makes him uncomfortable, it's just one of his many quirks that I find endearing, so he's just sort of fucked for life there to begin

I think about him ALL THE TIME, you don't even know

We'll have this all sorted soon enough anyway, you'll see

Then we'll all laugh

About how silly and awkward this was

And we'll tell our adopted snot-nosed grandchildren about this and bore the shit out of them with it some day

And they'll steal our prescriptions

Just as it should be

[om_nightcrawler]

You are missing the point of what everyone is trying to tell you. Whether everything makes Simon uncomfortable or not, this is still not okay. The point is it does make him uncomfortable and you posted it without his permission. You may have meant well, but if you really cared about him, you would take this post down and you will consider his feelings in the future. Otherwise, we can all only assume that this is a cruel, thoughtless prank.

[om_ghost]

There is help out there if you have a problem with drugs you know.

[om_revenant]

I AM HIGH AS BALLS ON LOVE

THERE'S NO CLINIC THAT WILL FIX THAT

And I wouldn't want them too!

[om_cyclops]

Douchey-meanness or whatever of this aside, are you fucking stalking people?

[om_revenant]

No, of course not

I'm just taking a photographic interest in my flatmate

My best pal

And my future lover

He loves this candid crap more than anyone! It's a tribute! You should see all the footage he's got of ME

[om_cyclops]

He asked first. Stalker.

[om_revenant]

You're really trying to tell me you've never once ever in your life peeked at someone without them writing out their consent in triplicate? Liar.

[om_cyclops]

No, I'm telling you I never took pictures of them and then stuck them on the internet.

[om_revenant]

Your lack of creativity and passion isn't my problem to fix

[om_cyclops]

You appear to have more than enough problems to keep yourself and everyone else occupied.

[om_revenant]

Imagine! Some of us out there living our own lives, instead of policing everyone else!

[om_incubus]

Comedy gold. Who brought the popcorn?

[om_surge]

I'd tell you you're an ass, but I'm pretty sure you already know that.