[Public] Journal Entry: Bobby da Costa 08/03/2013

[om_sunspot]

I know  many of you will not care and only two of you ever met her (not that I think that will mean that they will care) but today would have been Juliana's birthday. I have been encouraged to make this post as some form of closure.

She was the first girl I ever loved, she was fearless and brave. She threw herself in front of me to save my life and it is a travesty that the cop that murdered her and shot me has been given a medal.

She was a good girl. She deserved better than to die in that alleyway. And it's very clear to me that I must not hide away anymore, I must not be this mess of a boy you have all known. She died so that I might live and I must honour her for that. I must live again.

For a long time I avoided saying her name and for even longer I have avoided her photos because it was too painful. Now I am choosing to share an image with you all (whether you care or not) because I need to let this all go. These were taken a few weeks before it happened, at the end of last July.

Comments

[om_ghost]

She must have loved you a whole lot. I think you talking about her to us is really brave of you.

[om_sunspot]

I only hope she knew that I loved her too in the end, I think we do not say these things enough and then regret it later.

Brave? You really think so, amiguinho? I thought it was simply the least she deserved. THough perhaps worried that some may think I talk about it too much.

[om_ghost]

I really think so. It's hard to talk about people who aren't here any more. If what happened to her made you feel guilty (it seems like maybe it did) then it's extra brave. Anyway that's just what I think.

[om_sunspot]

Thank you Felix.