[Public] Journal Entry: Bobby da Costa 08/03/2013

[om_sunspot]

I know  many of you will not care and only two of you ever met her (not that I think that will mean that they will care) but today would have been Juliana's birthday. I have been encouraged to make this post as some form of closure.

She was the first girl I ever loved, she was fearless and brave. She threw herself in front of me to save my life and it is a travesty that the cop that murdered her and shot me has been given a medal.

She was a good girl. She deserved better than to die in that alleyway. And it's very clear to me that I must not hide away anymore, I must not be this mess of a boy you have all known. She died so that I might live and I must honour her for that. I must live again.

For a long time I avoided saying her name and for even longer I have avoided her photos because it was too painful. Now I am choosing to share an image with you all (whether you care or not) because I need to let this all go. These were taken a few weeks before it happened, at the end of last July.

Comments

[om_upstart]

Well. That sort of explains a few things. My sympathies, dear 'Berto. Mine is a friendly ear, whenever you may require one.

[om_sunspot]

You did not know? I had assumed you would, afterall the scandal was rather public.

Obrigado meu amigo.

[om_aurora]

This is beautiful, Bobby. I am so glad you can share these pictures with us. Your friends are with you.

[om_sunspot]

I would not have made this post if you hadn't encouraged me to do so thank you querida.

[om_ghost]

She must have loved you a whole lot. I think you talking about her to us is really brave of you.

[om_sunspot]

I only hope she knew that I loved her too in the end, I think we do not say these things enough and then regret it later.

Brave? You really think so, amiguinho? I thought it was simply the least she deserved. THough perhaps worried that some may think I talk about it too much.

[om_ghost]

I really think so. It's hard to talk about people who aren't here any more. If what happened to her made you feel guilty (it seems like maybe it did) then it's extra brave. Anyway that's just what I think.

[om_sunspot]

Thank you Felix.

[om_angel]

Beautiful pictures, Bobby.

[om_sunspot]

Thanks Warren. You met her though, it was impossible not to take beautiful pictures of her.

[om_angel]

Of course. I'm glad that you've made it this far to be able to look at the photos again.

[om_sunspot]

Me too. I do feel I have a little closure now as the therapist suggested I would. It is not as painful now.

[om_skin]

She looks like she was a lotta fun amigo

Thanks for sharin

[om_sunspot]

She was, it's not so hard to remember that lately either.

[om_skin]

That's good, bro. And good you still got some pics of her, I'm sure that helps some

[om_nightcrawler]

She is beautiful, mein Freund.

Thank you for sharing this with us.

[om_sunspot]

Was.

[om_nightcrawler]

She still is. No longer being with us does not changed that.

[om_sunspot]

I suppose not. Would you mind including her in your prayers, meu amigo? With the crisis of faith I have been having, it would seem false for me to do so you see.

[om_nightcrawler]

Of course, mein Freund, I was already thinking of it. If you would not mind, I think I would like to include her in all my prayers from now on?

[om_sunspot]

Obrigado Kurt.

[om_britannic]

My sympathies on your loss, Roberto. She sounds as though she was lovely.

[om_sunspot]

Thank you Brian.