![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
I'm really confused. I mean, I've had girlfriends before, but they were like...middle-school kind of girlfriends. We held hands and ate lunch together, and maybe if I was real lucky, I got a few kisses.
This is different. I mean, yeah, it's different because it's a guy. I've never done this kind of thing with a guy, and man oh man, if my dad ever finds out I will be in so much trouble. So that's new. And I'm not sure if how to be a good boyfriend and stuff is different if you're dating a guy, though I guess it wouldn't be, right? Dating is dating?
Journal, okay, yeah, not gonna answer.
But it's also different because this feels...different. More grown-up, maybe? Hungrier, definitely. I don't know what to do with that, either.
So I'm pretty confused. And I can't exactly tell anyone. If I tell Vic, he'll feel bad. I don't want that. I can't tell anyone else. This is dangerous. So, so dangerous. If my parents ever found out, I'd get far worse than my ass beat. That's the kind of thing that would get me taken out of here.
My dad hates me being a mutant, but he'd hate me being something-that's-not-straight even more. And I'm not gay or anything, but I guess I'm not straight, either. He wouldn't want me to be somewhere that was okay, or possible. He'd take me home. And just like he can't knock the mutant out of me, I doubt he'd be able to knock this out either. So yeah, dangerous.
I guess writing this down doesn't exactly change anything, but it helps a little, to at least put words to it. So thanks, Journal, for listening.
This is different. I mean, yeah, it's different because it's a guy. I've never done this kind of thing with a guy, and man oh man, if my dad ever finds out I will be in so much trouble. So that's new. And I'm not sure if how to be a good boyfriend and stuff is different if you're dating a guy, though I guess it wouldn't be, right? Dating is dating?
Journal, okay, yeah, not gonna answer.
But it's also different because this feels...different. More grown-up, maybe? Hungrier, definitely. I don't know what to do with that, either.
So I'm pretty confused. And I can't exactly tell anyone. If I tell Vic, he'll feel bad. I don't want that. I can't tell anyone else. This is dangerous. So, so dangerous. If my parents ever found out, I'd get far worse than my ass beat. That's the kind of thing that would get me taken out of here.
My dad hates me being a mutant, but he'd hate me being something-that's-not-straight even more. And I'm not gay or anything, but I guess I'm not straight, either. He wouldn't want me to be somewhere that was okay, or possible. He'd take me home. And just like he can't knock the mutant out of me, I doubt he'd be able to knock this out either. So yeah, dangerous.
I guess writing this down doesn't exactly change anything, but it helps a little, to at least put words to it. So thanks, Journal, for listening.