[Private] Journal Entry: Pietro Maximoff 6/1/13

[om_quicksilver]

I don't like being this guy. It's not helping. It's just a clusterfuck of regret--I think Inara knocked that loose in me or something. Randomly angelic Inara.

Okay, all my justifications are bullshit. Okay, I am a fucking coward. I get it.

Okay okay okay this is not bringing them home. All it's doing is worrying Wanda like I said I never would again. And Lorna. And my friends. And and and. This is not about me.

I need to:
-Sleep. By myself. For more than two hours at a time.
-Check on my friends and promise them The Pietro Show has been cancelled.
-Dress, act, and look as normal as possible.
-Stop re-doing shit I already did 12 times. Not helping, either.
-Just do what I'm told when I'm told. Be vigilant, be alert. (Would also erase the impulse to do everything over if I could trust myself to do it right the first time?)
-Be human.

I feel like that first thing could make all the other things work. But nightmares. Wonder if Felix can help? Or would that be weird? Too tired to tell how bad my own ideas are RN. I'll ask Wanda.

Two weeks is a long time. A really. Long. Time. Fuck me.